FUNNY STORIES FROM THE PAST FROM SF GATE DURING THE GOLDEN TIME

Funny Stories



ivabigun7/9/2008 10:47:51 PM

i got the old woman a couple of those books and she chucked them out! after i hauled them thousands of miles for her reading pleasure from powels bookstore. by the river, there was a sign for a resturant, hung lo, with a neon sign that said cocktails but only the first half worked. somehow it made me think of the song "smilling faeces, warm embraces

hughjasse7/9/2008 10:14:19 PM

maybe on the internet, i found this story of some geezer finding this old fossil who was sort of rotting into the couch. , maybe glued onto it with gallons of dried semen and vasaline. like the good old days,like when the dock johnson disapears only to turn up months later with little holes all over it that indicate it's been a large part of the ferrets diet. but this guy, wrote some other books, that were so horrifying, so hot and sleazy that you almost had to gulp down handfulls of really good pills just, just in order to acquire the mind set needed to read 'em! with a closet full of moth eaten trench coats. after recieving the special nobel prize for literature written on the walls of that public crapper right by the old folks home on sackville road, where i found out about the other world of sex, the one your parents don't mention.

hughjasse7/9/2008 9:38:44 PM

if you have not read cruel lips, it's the best...love sex, dirty dreams all that stuff... there's a giant bookstore in portland that had a pile of his stuff, you had to have a bucketo' water in case you or the book started blazing. i found m. van heller im 1972 or so. it turned out the guy was paid to pump out porno under this pseudonym but his work was just so above aand beyond the call of duty wheeww!

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hughjasse7/9/2008 9:31:51 PM

hey baby, is that the bridge at san gregorio on your nogin>

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sf_gaze7/9/2008 9:27:29 PM

hey huge ass! *waves frantically*

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claudebottom7/9/2008 11:58:00 PM

i was reading some of the messages. it was different. it seems the off topic lunacy is better than the subject we's sposed t' be talking about. like the internet has become this giant mind that sort of reflects the enigmas that reside within us all. so that with the expression of these enemas, we can understand the human condition better. like ifya read "under the rooftops of paris" well i imidiately thought ...wow every kind of sex known to man within the first 3 pages ... so it seemed so acceptable, normal healthy, and that was what in 1930s paris? so whadaya think? also when i usta go to these group therapy sessions to give up booze, we usta go blabbing, like on tangents. that's not the party line. there was this one anal chick who really cracked the whip and said "no cross talk" but to me ,it seemed like the cross talk was the best part. and some of those people were really hot.

7/10/2008 2:50:13 PM

dear countess, please forigve me if i have offended your cultured sensibilities, but may i be the first to offer my hand in marriage since i am of the male persuasion. i will stop at the cemetary and bring flowers as is my habit when courting a swell babe, and if you would kindly remind me, how high was that secret mountain of krugerands, you alluded to in a moment of indescretion.



countess_urania

7/10/2008 2:37:30 PM

That is a lovely home, is it not? But honestly Mister or Missus ivabigun, one would not speak of the private aspects of anyone person's business matters on the internet! If you are so inclined, you may contact the realtors. I believe the property is available for fifty million dollars.

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countess_urania

7/10/2008 1:30:15 PM

Why would a gentleman want to slap such a handsome young man such as yourself, Mister Gaze? Why, this Mister Snerdley must be no gentleman at all!



countess_urania

7/10/2008 1:15:44 PM

Oh ho HO! You charming young people do amuse us so in these commentary parlors. Nigh the time has come for a proper introduction if you would be so kind as to allow one the indulgence. We are the Widow and Countess Eugenia von Urania, and are charmed to meet each of you. We must thank you for the mirth you do provide. Thank you.

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show details 7/11/08

SFGate:

Happy Meals / It is the end of the nutball Christian right. Here is your proof. To go at 7/11/2008 11:02 AM PDT
Well my goodness! Back in our day, being a good Christian meant having a bible in the home, doing good deads, wearing one's Sunday Best upon the occasion of Easter, Circumcision, and other feast days, and striving to observe The Golden Rule in one's daily conduct. In these troubled times it seems that the church knows no Good Shepherd! Horsefeathers! This old bat has dwelt in the heaven-blessed city of San Francisco long enough to know that the homosexual is as beloved by God and is as splendid an individual as any other sort of being! Why, I believe at least half my staff are homosexual, and they are brilliantly talented and charming personages. Oh, I cannot abide the devilry of those who cloak themselves in sanctimonious airs, bullying the homosexual, as they did the Negro and the Jew in the all too recent past! It is poor citizenship, and most un-Christian, if you ask me! Young Mister Morford, we thank you for your impassioned manifesto. God bless you charming gay people! Bless you!
Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 6:51 PM PDT
Did we say 1916? O la la too long have one's old grey noodles stewed in the bouillabaisse of life's eddies and tides! Why for the life of one we cannot remember the exact year of our cotillion. My dear ivabigun, with a name so heartily suggestive as your own, I've a notion that you've already the better lot of the arsenal of longevity in your armory. Exercise as one may, keep a stiff ... upper lip, and don't forget a stiff nightly nightcap of the libation of your preference, ho ho!

Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 3:07 PM PDT
Mister ivabigun, no offense taken, but thank you. This Countess is no longer available for conjugal arrangements of the legal sort, and for what it may or may not be of value to those who have noted one's station, one's fine family fortune has been fully willed with finality to one's existing heirs and charities. Or was young Master Butt's David Guest warning in regards to the perils of the Botox?

Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 2:37 PM PDT
That is a lovely home, is it not? But honestly Mister or Missus ivabigun, one would not speak of the private aspects of anyone person's business matters on the internet! If you are so inclined, you may contact the realtors. I believe the property is available for fifty million dollars.

Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 2:26 PM PDT
ivabigun, kind of you to enquire. You may address me as you see fit. My first name is Eugenia. My international social and peerage title is Countess. Mine is not to expect the formalities of society upon the internet, so by all means do let us be casual. Oh Mister Gaze, bless you for putting a smile in a lady's day.
Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 2:17 PM PDT

Mister Gaze, the portrait photograph was taken at a private Cotillion at the San Francisco home of Mister Gordon and Mrs. Anne Getty in 1999. As my appointment was to be Matriarchal Chaperone of the Debutantes, I wore the blue diamond tiara that one had worn at one's own presentation to society in 1916. Oh the girls, they laughed, but so did we. Jolly good. In one way or another, yes, I've always some bit of jewelry jangling about. Haven't we all?
Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 2:00 PM PDT

Good day to you Mister Mulligan. My beloved departed the Baron Hugo von Thurn und Taxis von Urania bestowed upon one's manque these Okinawan pearls upon the occasion of our sixtieth wedding anniversary at Castile del Sol y Luna, Montserrat. Oh, I have scads of pearls. The Baron was very giving. Mister Butt I've no doubt that you are quite fetching as you are. Fat farms, do they still do those? I remember when Mrs. Patricia Montandon was said to have discreetly retired to one such farm, only to return to society a tad more plump for the recess. As for hangovers, the hair of the cur my friend, ho ho!
Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 1:49 PM PDT

In one's widowful dottage, one hasn't the powers of concentration that one had as a tartly young dish. Nevertheless, when our manservant Randolph performs certain duties, concentration is hardly a problem! Why Mister Butt, I shall take the Fred Mertz comment in good humour. Really, I'm just a filthy rich old bat from a more pastoral era, and am quite aware that it shows.

Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 1:38 PM PDT
Young Master Butt, my goodly parents named me "Urania" for the classical muse of the heavens. It is an antiquated name to be sure, but we are an antiquated dame, ho ho!

Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 1:36 PM PDT
Mister Gaze, I blush with appreciation. You are quite kind, and we are enchanted to meet you! If this Snerdley fellow continues to annoy you, I shall pay ten brute ruffians to have a word with him!

Totally Gay Happy Meals

ivabigun7/13/2008 11:32:32 AM

Hello Countess, so nice to see you. I was afraid you had somehow got ahold of a time machine ,and travelled to the time of the Pre-Raphaelites, to perhaps hangout wih Orcar Wilde and chuck lilies at each other!

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Totally Gay Happy Meals

countess_urania7/13/2008 11:23:59 AM

Now see here Mister Granite, one just returned from Sunday morning services. Why did not you? Oh bother, do not respond. I shall have delivered to you fifteen gay Happy Meals in hopes that at least one arrives with the plastic "Twinky Winky" premium that may amuse you, or has one overestimated your age?

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SFGate:

Happy Meals / It is the end of the nutball Christian right. Here is your proof. To go at 7/11/2008 11:02 AM PDT

Well my goodness! Back in our day, being a good Christian meant having a bible in the home, doing good deads, wearing one's Sunday Best upon the occasion of Easter, Circumcision, and other feast days, and striving to observe The Golden Rule in one's daily conduct. In these troubled times it seems that the church knows no Good Shepherd! Horsefeathers! This old bat has dwelt in the heaven-blessed city of San Francisco long enough to know that the homosexual is as beloved by God and is as splendid an individual as any other sort of being! Why, I believe at least half my staff are homosexual, and they are brilliantly talented and charming personages. Oh, I cannot abide the devilry of those who cloak themselves in sanctimonious airs, bullying the homosexual, as they did the Negro and the Jew in the all too recent past! It is poor citizenship, and most un-Christian, if you ask me! Young Mister Morford, we thank you for your impassioned manifesto. God bless you charming gay people! Bless you!

Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 6:51 PM PDT
Did we say 1916? O la la too long have one's old grey noodles stewed in the bouillabaisse of life's eddies and tides! Why for the life of one we cannot remember the exact year of our cotillion. My dear ivabigun, with a name so heartily suggestive as your own, I've a notion that you've already the better lot of the arsenal of longevity in your armory. Exercise as one may, keep a stiff ... upper lip, and don't forget a stiff nightly nightcap of the libation of your preference, ho ho!

Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 3:07 PM PDT
Mister ivabigun, no offense taken, but thank you. This Countess is no longer available for conjugal arrangements of the legal sort, and for what it may or may not be of value to those who have noted one's station, one's fine family fortune has been fully willed with finality to one's existing heirs and charities. Or was young Master Butt's David Guest warning in regards to the perils of the Botox?

Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 2:37 PM PDT
That is a lovely home, is it not? But honestly Mister or Missus ivabigun, one would not speak of the private aspects of anyone person's business matters on the internet! If you are so inclined, you may contact the realtors. I believe the property is available for fifty million dollars.

Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 2:26 PM PDT
ivabigun, kind of you to enquire. You may address me as you see fit. My first name is Eugenia. My international social and peerage title is Countess. Mine is not to expect the formalities of society upon the internet, so by all means do let us be casual. Oh Mister Gaze, bless you for putting a smile in a lady's day.
Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 2:17 PM PDT

Mister Gaze, the portrait photograph was taken at a private Cotillion at the San Francisco home of Mister Gordon and Mrs. Anne Getty in 1999. As my appointment was to be Matriarchal Chaperone of the Debutantes, I wore the blue diamond tiara that one had worn at one's own presentation to society in 1916. Oh the girls, they laughed, but so did we. Jolly good. In one way or another, yes, I've always some bit of jewelry jangling about. Haven't we all?
Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 2:00 PM PDT

Good day to you Mister Mulligan. My beloved departed the Baron Hugo von Thurn und Taxis von Urania bestowed upon one's manque these Okinawan pearls upon the occasion of our sixtieth wedding anniversary at Castile del Sol y Luna, Montserrat. Oh, I have scads of pearls. The Baron was very giving. Mister Butt I've no doubt that you are quite fetching as you are. Fat farms, do they still do those? I remember when Mrs. Patricia Montandon was said to have discreetly retired to one such farm, only to return to society a tad more plump for the recess. As for hangovers, the hair of the cur my friend, ho ho!
Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 1:49 PM PDT

In one's widowful dottage, one hasn't the powers of concentration that one had as a tartly young dish. Nevertheless, when our manservant Randolph performs certain duties, concentration is hardly a problem! Why Mister Butt, I shall take the Fred Mertz comment in good humour. Really, I'm just a filthy rich old bat from a more pastoral era, and am quite aware that it shows.

Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 1:38 PM PDT
Young Master Butt, my goodly parents named me "Urania" for the classical muse of the heavens. It is an antiquated name to be sure, but we are an antiquated dame, ho ho!
Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 1:36 PM PDT
Mister Gaze, I blush with appreciation. You are quite kind, and we are enchanted to meet you! If this Snerdley fellow continues to annoy you, I shall pay ten brute ruffians to have a word with him!

ivabigun7/11/2008 10:46:51 AM

I was actually warming up for a story where people from the religious right could open up bars in which they could hang from crosses, and have waiters whirl the crosses around so they could "high five" each other (as people who drink have a tendancy to do, but wouldn't be able to since they are nailed to a cross) But just thinking about the cross gives me a shudder. My ma has 'em all over. When I was a kid, we were cutting through the churchyard at the end of Colleridge street and there was Christ hanging from a cross. They had made a little roof over His cross (because it was England, and didn't want Christ to get rained on because of the inclement weather) So all of a sudden a minister came out of the darkness...It still gives me a shiver to this day, 50 years later. I do think they shoud drop cross shaped munitions on the enemy in Afghanistan for instance. Since it's just an extension of the Crusades, a Holy War. Even drop the cross feet first so Christ's loin cloth would blow up!

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countess_urania's Comments Comment on: Totally Gay Happy Meals / It is the end of the nutball Christian right. Here is your proof. To go at 7/13/2008 11:59 AM PDT
One is diminished to have disappointed you, beezkneez_, but one is what one is. We can only hope to improve in one's assessment with the grace of passing time. May yours always be Arcadian and Idyllic in quality!

Comment on: Totally Gay Happy Meals / It is the end of the nutball Christian right. Here is your proof. To go at 7/13/2008 11:54 AM PDT
Good day to you too, Mister ivabigun. Ho ho, no, one is not quite elderly enough to remember Mister Oscar Wilde, although his savory collected works do grace our library, as bestowed to us in first editions by the dear departed Nan Kempner one lovely Christmas. Do kindly forgive the tardiness of our response to your electronic epistles. One only just now chanced upon them, and shall respond soon. For the time one is most amused by this parlor's ongoing chitter-chatter! There appear to be myriad witty and intellectually acute personages hereabouts, and a few ignominious rascals of petty mindedness as well. Quite the novel venue, this internet!

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View comment on: The 10 most awesome albums of 2009 / Also, the 25 best songs, all guaranteed to soothe the soul and make you howl at the moon at 12/18/2009 11:29 PM PST

Before she was so brutally transported to the afterlife by some unspeakable urchin our dear departed goddaughter Mistress Deborah did speak fondly of one chamber ensemble "Tool." Being of a certain age, we saw fit to inform the ebullient young lady that without the superbly artistic precedent of a certain crimson king, there would never have been any said "Tool" to be making such a raucous fuss about! Alas, the lesson did fall upon ears of tin. 'Tis was if we talked to the wind, but the wind did not hear.

View comment on: The 10 most awesome albums of 2009 / Also, the 25 best songs, all guaranteed to soothe the soul and make you howl at the moon at 12/18/2009 9:59 PM PST

Goodness we. Our fond acquaintances of many a decade Mister Gordon and Mrs. Anne shall not be pleased to learn of this dreadfully distasteful carpet bombing of this webbed site. The infernal concoction SPAM is far beneath their delicate palates and shall not be tolerated! In earnest we do wish that they should never come to learn of this horrific assault upon the goodly readers of the SF Gated community and House of Getty. The insolence!

View comment on: Oxford dictionary's word of the year: unfriend at 11/16/2009 7:19 PM PST

We at Villa Urania earnestly endeavor to arrive at a point of acceptance regarding the curious phrase "opposite married." We have hitherto found concise use of the word "married" to suffice, but hear tell of an attractive yet dissolute lass of stage and screen who has introduced this newly minted means of indicating matrimony to common tongue, and not wishing to seem any more antiquated than one may or may not be, duly do try to keep up with today's tiara'd debutantes.

View comment on: SFGate turns 15: A timeline at 11/3/2009 8:34 PM PST

Felicitations! Confetti! Let us adorn the halls with gaily colored bunting and ribbons upon the occasion of this crystal fifteenth anniversary!
This Gateway was early to Webbed table and did so well migrate the news of the day's Roman fonts from page of paper to page of Web as to have won the visitation of personages from well abroad of our bounteous Bay Area.
What a delight, a blessing at times mix'd, the sufferance of response and commentary from the ever-opinionated and frequently clever readership! With a sigh of propinquity we do recall the day when but one entertainingly irate Lanny Middings did write to The Editor with frequency. To-day, there are countless such earnest Lanny Middings venting spleen and ideal with oft-impassion'd candor hereabouts!
Fare thee well for the fifteen years hence and beyond, o golden Gate! Oro en paz, fierro en guerra!

View comment on: Hero teacher didn't have time to think at 8/25/2009 10:51 PM PDT

Oh we DO so adore a handsome hero! What is not to love?

View comment on: Judge sets January trial for Prop. 8 lawsuit at 8/21/2009 2:29 PM PDT

countess_urania's comment violated SFGate's Terms and Conditions and has been removed.

View comment on: Judge sets January trial for Prop. 8 lawsuit at 8/19/2009 11:15 PM PDT

Dearest ducklings, fellow brothers and sisters in Christianity, various visitors and sundry speech-makers of San Francisco's Gate, do let us invoke the spirit of our civic namesake one Francisco di Assissi, Italia, who is sainted in the Roman tradition, and recognize the eternal Springtide of the bounteous blessings of matrimonial ardor among our endearingly talented, witty, creative and socially conscientious homo-sexual citizenry. For what conceivably goodly reason would Society and Free Republic deny them their rightful due? We have given extensive consideration to the objectionary protests thereof and thusly declare them ill-considered unneighborly poppycock, horsefeathers and balderdash relative to our Golden State, where gay fraternity and sorority that do indeed speak their name have gilded good Califia since at least the bullish lust for lucre of old 1849 if not longer!
Inasmuch as ye do oppress these the gayest of His beloved ducklings, ye do it unto Him!
Let us be kind.

View comment on: Obama birthers ate my love child! / The president is an alien! The Republican nutball fringe wants you! Apply now! at 7/29/2009 12:18 AM PDT

By the grace of the goodly heavens, we have only very recently come to terms with the presence of an acronym so inelegant as "MILF" as an acceptable figure of the common tongue. Must we so quickly upon the heels of that ghastly arriviste phrase's debut accept this new malapropism "birther" as the linguistic avatar of a most peculiarly malcontented tributary of inventive philosophy? In one's own day, that word, 'tho it did not properly exist, would have meant a "mother," a person who gives birth, be she human or beastly, and one shall never accept that a mother is one who invents farcically uncharitable parlor charades with intent to disrespect the office of our formidable and stately President!
One who gives birth does so best of love, never of ill will.

View comment on: Mormon 'kiss-in' in Utah leads to shouting match at 7/21/2009 11:02 PM PDT

We had temptation to curse one's own insomniac eve, yet serendipitously did chance upon this discussion parlor and were quite intrigued by the clever banter occurring herein. My goodness but you young ducklings keep the hours of a night owl!
If the Supreme Creator can said to be purest Love, are not the occasional excesses of Cupid's wily archery to be blushed away without undue alarm? Good heavens, a mere kiss, perhaps a surprisingly passionate one, but what bother? Why in the days of our youth, gentlemen exchanged fond kisses now and then and nothing scandalous was made of it, it was mere fraternity. In our dottage, we have come to understand that homosexuals are our equals in God's eyes and so should they be in the eyes of our greatest muse, Justice herself!
Kindly calm yourselves, officers of America's Great Salt Lake!

View comment on: Coalition of LGBT groups: Next year too soon for gay marriage vote in CA at 7/17/2009 11:47 AM PDT

For the love of the Heavens, do let them marry! Too long we have tarried on this matter. Our beloved homosexual brothers and sisters are a delight, a boon, scintillating gems in the treasure chests of Creation! Is their love less deserving than that of you or I? Not in the slightest measure.
Do unto others as ye would have them do unto you! And then do it again, ho ho!

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View comment on: Don't go, Sarah Palin! / A nation turns its lonely eyes to your ditzy insufferable ramblings at 7/10/2009 10:07 AM PDT

Dearest ursine acquaintance, truly you are a gentleman, and we are duly charmed. However, we have lived long enough to have heard it all, and to have seen a ribald thing or two, too!
How we should like to provide a proper spree of shopping for young Mrs. Palin, but alas, our furs languish in storage and there is so little to do in Alaska to keep one from jading. The poor dear would benefit greatly from a bit of prudent editing and guidance in matters of appropriate deportmen. Why, we have seen photographic images of the Governor wielding an enormous firearm while exhibiting virtually everything our Lord bestowed upon her physical form, covered hardly at all by a fabric derived from our glorious national flag! This hardly befits such a, a, such a *retiring* official.

View comment on: Don't go, Sarah Palin! / A nation turns its lonely eyes to your ditzy insufferable ramblings at 7/10/2009 9:57 AM PDT

Good heavens Mister Flynn Stone, in that case, perhaps there is yet Cupidic hope for a filthy rich old bat! Ho HO!

View comment on: Don't go, Sarah Palin! / A nation turns its lonely eyes to your ditzy insufferable ramblings at 7/10/2009 9:51 AM PDT

'Tho we are accustomed to that inevitable lingua non franca which prevents elder generations from fully comprehending the colloquies of the younger, too long has our curiosity been aroused to accommodate enduring ignorance, and thus we must inquire:
Whatever is a "milf" ?

View comment on: Church of England bishop says gays should 'repent' at 7/5/2009 8:47 PM PDT

Dearest Mrs. Solana you are so very kind and always have been. It is good to see you, too! We must away, as it is an old spinster's bed-time, but shall peacefully dream of bountiful cornucopiae of good health and happiness for you and Mister Paolo. Bless you!

View comment on: Church of England bishop says gays should 'repent' at 7/5/2009 8:28 PM PDT

Many a-moon a-go, my dear departed Baron von Urania and I did live for a time in Marlborough, and did at times attend service of Church of England. Splendid was the grandeur yet also austerity of their cathedrals, evocative of the orderly day of Mister Oliver Cromwell and Maestro Henry Purcell! Indeed our very wedding was officiated by a priest of the Anglican persuasion, known discreetly by all to be homosexual. Flamboyantly so, it must be said, and you know? The Baron and I adored him for it. He was a gentleman and a true Christian, admired by his doting flock and also other gentleman of similar instincts, if you know what we mean, ho ho!
Alas, we do not know what all this bother is about to-day! Is it no longer common knowledge that the Church of Old Henry is fraught with a lavender variety of fraternity, and if we may say so, sorority, too? We do not think it proper or goodly to persecute the gay folk. They are a delight, boon and a blessing bestowed upon us by the Creator!

View comment on: Maybe we got off on the wrong Gucci at 6/22/2009 1:32 PM PDT

Our fond acquaintances Elizabeth Reginae II of the United Kingdom and her betrothed Prince Philip have something profoundly effective to say about the nattering nabobs of negativity who do find occasion to degrade them: Absolutely nothing at all. They do not condescend to dignify the petty maledictions of their detractors with response or rebuttal. Perhaps there is an enduring bit of wisdom in this?

View comment on: Sanctuary city debate still in the mix at 6/17/2009 1:56 PM PDT

The Sanctuary City movement was started, as I recall, by well-intending religious organizations on the principle of offering refuge from persecution and poverty in the home countries of persons desperate enough to enter the USA illegally. However in the years since then it's become obvious to all that the status has been abused and misused by illegal immigrants and their protectors stateside at considerable cost. I simply don't see how the status can endure any claim of legality or legitimacy at this point. Moreover, *San Franciscans don't want it!* The nanny-like refusal of our city's "leaders" to do away with the failed program is unconscionable, given the bad news of the past year that we all know about in addition to the program's insult to legitimate citizens and legal immigrants.

View comment on: Enough of Sarah Palin, the victim at 6/17/2009 12:48 PM PDT

Many a moon a-go, we did wrap ourselves in ermine and mink in protection from chill elements and ventured forth unto the snowy permafrost and glacial grandeur of Grand Alaska, from whence we could see our Comrade Yuri 'cross nether border of yon Russian territories. Alas, young Sarah was as yet unwed to her Todd of clan Palin, 'tho she was heavy with child in advance of wedlock at the time. How like the mother is the daughter! 'Tis no joke, neither be it occasion for sermon on abstinential theme. Fallen, fallen is Babylon! In one's own day, the dressing of one's locks into a bun signified reserve, propinquity, feminine grace and demure countenance. However in these emboldened times buns are flaunted with such ebullient pugnacity! Good heavens, whatever is a "MILF?" Perhaps one would prefer not to know.

View comment on: Sarah Palin accepts David Letterman's apology at 6/17/2009 12:36 PM PDT

Dearest Eagle-eyed Thumbelina,
We are humbled by your request and shall duly honor it. Forgive us, for we had enjoined in your avian mirth in like good humor, and intended no offense.
Fly high, glorious hunter, and be not discouraged by the dirty birds hereabouts!
Truly yours,
The Widow and Countess Eugenia Urania

View comment on: Sarah Palin accepts David Letterman's apology at 6/17/2009 12:30 PM PDT

Squawk! The sky is falling! The sky is falling! Bigot bigot this, bigot bigot that. Squawk!

countess_urania's Comments

View comment on: FBI: Holocaust Museum suspect expected to survive at 6/10/2009 10:26 PM PDT

By the gilded pipes of Saint Cecilia's seminal organ, we do pray in earnest that one Mister Creepy Bobo does not play that dreadful Skrewdriver and Nordic Adolphian bruit upon his Grammophone!

View comment on: Miss California USA can keep crown, Trump decides at 5/14/2009 11:52 AM PDT

Dearest Lioness, as our beloved old friend Mister Samuel Clemens once penned, the coldest winters are summers spent in San Francisco, and accordingly we have arranged to pass the season at Hacienda de los Uranias in the verdant hills above sunny Puerto Vallerta in Mexico, but have been sternly advised by our doctors not to siesta thereabouts for the time being. Well horsefeathers say I! We shall away to our southern neighbor without fear of piggy malady! I do so love a stalwart margarita on a June afternoon, don't you? Ho ho and ay, ay, ay!

View comment on: Miss California USA can keep crown, Trump decides at 5/14/2009 11:24 AM PDT

Good heavens, how dreadfully unpleasant!

View comment on: Palace of Fine Arts offers peek at restoration at 5/9/2009 10:05 AM PDT

We do have the fondest of memories pertaining to the grand old Palace. 'Twas anno domini 1915 that my sisters and I did participate in a water pageant in the shadow of the great dome, the Arcadian likes of which are unseen in present milieu. I did portray the Dryad Urania, Queen of the Grecian Urn. My sister did play the Spring Nymph of Califia although there was a bit of an unseemly mishap with the train of her elaborately draped gown and a rather too earnest snapping turtle from the murky lagoon. Oh! How we do wish that you younger goslings could have seen the glittering grandeur of that wondrous faire! It was celestial, delightful, the resplendent jewel of the west! Alas to-day the closest thing to a water pageant to be seen are the dancing fountains of the dissolute oasis Las Vegas, 'tho nary a dryad is to be seen there, yet many a randy nymph and satyr, ho ho!

View comment on: Miss California's fate to be decided by Monday at 5/8/2009 12:36 PM PDT

Buona Mama Italia, long may she nurture Romulus and Remus!
Now as for young and tartly Miss Prejean, should her tiara (which we are advised is fabricated of rhinestone and silver-plated tin, good heavens!) be relinquished, we shall not be forthcoming to offer her one from our own sparkling collection. A true lady must earn her pate of jewels, and prejudicial pursuits are simply not the way!
Young Missy, make way for ducklings, or forever be regarded as a quack!

View comment on: Opponents challenging new Maine gay marriage law at 5/7/2009 3:35 PM PDT

Good Heavens! What an unconscionable perversion of the Word of the Lamb! Why, that man Mister Emrich, what a pallor! Was he prepared for photographer's lens by an embalmer? Get out into the sun, Brother Emrich, and for the love of our Lord Jesus Christ, do not persecute the liberties of our homosexual brothers and sisters!
Shoo!
And amen.

View comment on: Michelle Obama captivates glittery crowd in NYC at 5/5/2009 9:14 PM PDT

She is the toast of the world! A charming, intelligent, and motivated first lady. The nation is graced by her good example.

View comment on: Miss California's fate to be decided by Monday at 5/5/2009 8:07 PM PDT

QUITE forgetting his manners, VinceFoster did exclaim: "gay weddings are for loosers!!!"
Now you see here, dear sir. There is no reasonable cause to begin a sentence without capitalizing the first letter of the first word, neither should the maledictive epithet "loser" be misspelled as "looser" nor be there due cause to go lashing the exclamation point about as if one find one's self to be an excited dominatrix at the Faire of Folsom Street! Kindly do show more respect for the written word, and for heaven's sake, do not insult our friends in the homosexual community! Sir, your abuse of Her Majesty's Mother tongue is abuse enough!
Shoo!

View comment on: Comments on news stories a double-edged sword at 5/5/2009 7:49 PM PDT

We do so very much enjoy the commentary salons provided by this webbed site. Myriad colorful personages and personalities inhabit them, some notably talented in the ever fading art of conversation, and some gifted of swashbucklingly rapier wit. Bless the Blarney!
Then again we find ourselves aged beyond the contemporary colloquy and vernacular herein employed such that much of what is written cannot be duly deciphered!
How fleetingly the world passes by as one's dotage encroaches! Yet the simple pleasures of a bit of chit-chat with our darling young ducklings at the Gate of San Francisco do make the passing of time a splendid delight. For this we thank you!
Thank you!

View comment on: Comments on news stories a double-edged sword at 5/4/2009 4:38 PM PDT

We miss the 1915 Panama Pacific Exposition. What a faire that was!

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Age: 110

Location: Tower of Jewels, Panama-Pacific Exhibition Concourse, San Francisco, California, U.S.A.

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View comment on: Miss California to campaign against gay marriage at 5/1/2009 12:37 AM PDT

Oh we knew it well Mater Scribe, a lovely chapel and grounds indeed! Alas olde San Mateo ... a best-kept secret of midcentury California! Our little grandson Prentice Tyler-Saks von Urania und Thurn und Taxis was earnestly fond of the miniature locomotive that did circumscribe Central Park while we wandered in idyll among the lilies, bespotted coi and stone pagodas of the adjacent Japanese Gardens. San Mateo, star of the southerly lands!

View comment on: Miss California to campaign against gay marriage at 5/1/2009 12:25 AM PDT

We did once upon a time attend Mass at Saint Matthew's on the El Camino Real in San Mateo, California, when my dear Baron and I had a peninsular estate on Roehampton Road in Hillsborough, California. Alas it was faintly redolant of the nearby McDonald's. We were quite fond of the bouquets assembled at the propinquitous florist Ah Sam also of olden El Camino Real, the Podesta Baldocchi of the Peninsula in those times and also their myriad multifaceted tannenbaums at Yule.

View comment on: The Right goes insane / Evil overlords to flaccid clowns in the blink of Jesus' eye. Adorable! at 4/30/2009 10:29 PM PDT

Gracious we, do not today's Young Republicans know that the best tea comes from tins, not bags? Alas, if they've a tin ear to such meaningful subtleties, is it any wonder that they have otherwise gone quite insane? Why must Mister Beck scream so? Has some Mad Hatter infused his high tea with mercury?

View comment on: Survey shows why Americans change religions at 4/28/2009 12:42 AM PDT

So! We are not alone in noting the grandeur of our great bay's leviathan? We do so adore the venerable Very Large Fish of our San Francisco Bay! Never did an Alioto's or Trader Vic's harbor such a maritime enormity, ever less an Aqua or Farralon. While we of proper Christian sensibility are taught to follow the Carpenter Fisherman, we do sense no harm in occasionally floundering in the gentle waters of the Tremendous Fishy Carp as well, if only for the halibut, ho ho!

View comment on: Pageant PR rep accuses Miss California of lying at 4/27/2009 6:53 PM PDT

Tsk, tsk young tart! Self-serving dishonesty is a sin!

View comment on: Presbyterians reject gay clergy, but vote closer at 4/25/2009 6:45 PM PDT

Far be it from this aged Christian lady to speak ill of her fellow lambs in most cases, but to one's mind, when votes are taken to exclude fellow Christians from serving clergy and laity, matters have gone dreadfully amiss. How gravely the flock has strayed from the loving and tolerant words of the shepherd!
An agreement to serve as a goodly Christian in the spirit set forth by the Nazarene gentleman in whose name we worship should suffice. It is told that brother Jesus did intercede on behalf of those whom the sanctimonious mob judged unjustly. It is his example that we should follow, not the prejudicial whims of the bitterly hardened heart.
Be of good cheer and endure, gay children, for behold, you are loved as equals in the kingdom of heaven, and shall prevail in the fulfillment of times!

you are quite the randy cad!
Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 1:30 PM PDT
Why would a gentleman want to slap such a handsome young man such as yourself, Mister Gaze? Why, this Mister Snerdley must be no gentleman at all!
Comment on: Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel / Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance at 7/10/2008 1:15 PM PDT
Oh ho HO! You charming young people do amuse us so in these commentary parlors. Nigh the time has come for a proper introduction if you would be so kind as to allow one the indulgence. We are the Widow and Countess Eugenia von Urania, and are charmed to meet each of you. We must thank you for the mirth you do provide. Thank you.
Comment on: 4 out of 5 sunscreens inadequate, study finds at 7/10/2008 12:05 PM PDT
It has been our providence to enjoy a proper sunscreen in a concoction of finely strained essence of cucumber infused with an emulsion of fois gras (duck, not goose,) bouquet garni, and Andean cocoa butter. When applied in an even layer, this rich melange does block the deleterious desiccating rays of the sun in such a manner that no bothersome age spots need be feared. We do thank Doctor Brunno von Ristow of San Francisco for sharing the secret of this protective elixir!
Comment on: Rove ignores subpoena, refuses to testify on Hill at 7/10/2008 11:55 AM PDT
Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Mister Rove! Step up and face your obligations to the nation. Society does not approve of this willy nilly dilly dally. Not one bit sir! Why, I've a mind to speak to Mister George Schultz about this pernicious scallywaggery!

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wrote: countess_urania wrote:

Why no dear lad, I've never been known as "ludd." My stars in heaven, that footage to which you'd linked us! That garish woman surely needs to invest in a finer calibre of photographer, and must needs be reminded to always lock the door when pork-rinding in a public water closet!
7/13/2008 5:37 PM PDT
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One's August Father
by countess_urania
One's own beloved father, his Crown Eminence, Prince Viktor Alessandro der Esterhazy von Herz und Mund und Tat und Leben of Moldavia, circa 1920. One does remember Daddy's fetching fez and all the honorific gingerbread of his martial sartorial splendidry so very well!

Comment on: Totally Gay Happy Meals / It is the end of the nutball Christian right. Here is your proof. To go at 7/13/2008 11:59 AM PDT
One is diminished to have disappointed you, beezkneez_, but one is what one is. We can only hope to improve in one's assessment with the grace of passing time. May yours always be Arcadian and Idyllic in quality!
Comment on: Totally Gay Happy Meals / It is the end of the nutball Christian right. Here is your proof. To go at 7/13/2008 11:54 AM PDT
Good day to you too, Mister ivabigun. Ho ho, no, one is not quite elderly enough to remember Mister Oscar Wilde, although his savory collected works do grace our library, as bestowed to us in first editions by the dear departed Nan Kempner one lovely Christmas. Do kindly forgive the tardiness of our response to your electronic epistles. One only just now chanced upon them, and shall respond soon. For the time one is most amused by this parlor's ongoing chitter-chatter! There appear to be myriad witty and intellectually acute personages hereabouts, and a few ignominious rascals of petty mindedness as well. Quite the novel venue, this internet!

ivabigun7/16/2008 8:25:51 AM

One thing about this contraption is...what if a guy had one of these installed. Then the guy died, and his body was used in that "BodyWorld" show. With the pump still installed. Then some other galoot walked by and accidentaly bumped his garage door opener,and turned on the remote controll pump and the body in the "Body World " suddenly started getting an erection? And what if the pump wouldn't turn off and sucked the whole body into the pump and pumped it into a gigantic erection?

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claudebottom7/16/2008 8:53:13 AM

This could have an industrial use which might offset the cost for human use. In the artificial insemination field, it would be more convenient to be able to press a button on a remote labled "erection" and then "ejaculate" rather than having to manhandle (Or womanhandle) one of those whopping great penises. Unless you are in pretty good physical condition, it's asking for a heart attack trying to get one of the horse, or rhinnocerous penisses to ejaculate, and what about an elephant...that's really asking for trouble? So with this remote controll gadget, You can eliminate the human intervention, plus not have a two ton animal writhing in ecstasy, with the risk injuring itself or its object of affection. That's just the horses! With an elephant,forget about it! It's almost like being attacked by some legless aligator from Chernobyl!

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miraclek77/16/2008 3:23:26 PM

Iva and Stan, some very plausible ideas you are bringing forth. Countess, I do have contact with some very talented and reliable spiritualists should you need to converse with the other side. I, myself, have been known to conjure persons of the deceased demeanor: also tarot reader and astrologer to paupers.

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countess_urania7/16/2008 3:19:33 PM

Thank you dear Mister ivabigun for your kind advice. I have just finished speaking with Mrs. Joan Quigley, who informed us that she can only provide insight of an astrological variety, not insight into the state of the departed. It had occurred to me that a talented Medium might offer some communion with my dear departed Baron, although upon further reflection, I believe I shall wait for my own inevitable transport to speak again to he. Oh! These temporary bouts of loneliness do inspire the silliest whims! I do not know what I was thinking, and shall courier an ermine stole to Mrs. Quigley for so foolishly miscalculating her peculiar talents. Bless you dear boy, you are so very kind to offer assistance.

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The Remote Control Penis

ivabigun7/16/2008 3:08:13 PM

I think Countess, you should try to get in touch with a Voodoo (or Hoodoo) practitioner,the reason being the present administration has moved the stars out of allignment so much, you will need to have your JohnDe'Conqueroo working just to give any kind of reality a nudge. I have seen a lot of references just playing on the internet about thr zombies...willing zombies, who want to go into a false death for a year and make a come back later...Just as a way of avoiding that dreaded appointment with Doctor Kavorkian! After seeing their lifes investments go down the sewer of life due to the skill of the banking industry. If you ever make contact with the other side, check with Elvis to get Doctor Chris's phone number. I'd like to make a bid on the King's surplus medicine supply. Just to bolster me till the economy comes back! I also wanted to avoid "Tic De La Rou" somtimes associated with these powerful Voodoo (some people say Hoodoo) spells and enchantments.

Recommend: (0)(0)[Report Abuse]stantheology7/16/2008 2:51:23 PM

I should like to explore the possibility of getting a gadget like that installed in my head.The reason is ,then one could become the greatest Cyrano De Bergerac impersinator in history,and still live a normal life when not impersinating. The only drawback migt be if one was in Silicon Valley,which is laden with many an electronic contraption. The fear being that one might be on the bus or train commuting to work and some lazer beam or other might cause the Cyrano De Bergerac nose to deploy, making fellow commuters think they were, halucinating, having a flashback due to the sacramental mushrooms they had munched in the late 1960s. The bionic penis and nose installation may give the patient an unfair advantage if he were employed in the "Hospitality Industry" and I think Doctor eurologists should consider this.

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ivabigun7/16/2008 3:08:13 PM

I think Countess, you should try to get in touch with a Voodoo (or Hoodoo) practitioner,the reason being the present administration has moved the stars out of allignment so much, you will need to have your JohnDe'Conqueroo working just to give any kind of reality a nudge. I have seen a lot of references just playing on the internet about thr zombies...willing zombies, who want to go into a false death for a year and make a come back later...Just as a way of avoiding that dreaded appointment with Doctor Kavorkian! After seeing their lifes investments go down the sewer of life due to the skill of the banking industry. If you ever make contact with the other side, check with Elvis to get Doctor Chris's phone number. I'd like to make a bid on the King's surplus medicine supply. Just to bolster me till the economy comes back! I also wanted to avoid "Tic De La Rou" somtimes associated with these powerful Voodoo (some people say Hoodoo) spells and enchantments.

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stantheology7/16/2008 2:51:23 PM

I should like to explore the possibility of getting a gadget like that installed in my head.The reason is ,then one could become the greatest Cyrano De Bergerac impersinator in history,and still live a normal life when not impersinating. The only drawback migt be if one was in Silicon Valley,which is laden with many an electronic contraption. The fear being that one might be on the bus or train commuting to work and some lazer beam or other might cause the Cyrano De Bergerac nose to deploy, making fellow commuters think they were, halucinating, having a flashback due to the sacramental mushrooms they had munched in the late 1960s. The bionic penis and nose installation may give the patient an unfair advantage if he were employed in the "Hospitality Industry" and I think Doctor eurologists should consider this.

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stantheology7/16/2008 7:56:24 PM

xocon...I loved that flick.Tears were running down my swarthy mug. So good, So good. So if you dig historical stuff,search for 'celts romans.'..it's fun and tells of how the Romans got a cano' whoop ass opened on'em when they first met the Celts, during the begining of the Roman state[The Celts told the Roman envoys that] this was indeed the first time they had heard of them, but they assumed the Romans must be a courageous people because it was to them that the [Etruscans] had turned to in their hour of need. And since the Romans had tried to help with an embassy and not with arms, they themselves would not reject the offer of peace, . www.ibiblio.org/gaelic/celts.html - 13k.... try that. It 'sworth the effort! THe web adress is the source of this fun information I also liked Crow in 'Master and Commander' but check out the Roman stuff, it's really satisfying!

The Remote Control Penis

miraclek77/16/2008 4:44:21 PM

Stan, I don't know if the zulu vocalizations will do for a teen, but I've been know to yell "DUDE" at my son before I rip into him; he, of course, knows what's coming...

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The Remote Control Penis

stantheology7/16/2008 4:18:50 PM

Just as an aside, the magnificent vocalisations by the Zulu warriors, in the movie "Zulu" which will make you hair stand on end ,I guarontee, was also admired by the maker of the movie "Gladiator" starring Russel Crow. In the scene where the Romans are about to attack the Germanic tribes, the Romans are also vocalising, to raise their spirits for the ensueing slaughter. If you pay attention, you will hear a" sample"of the Zulus Roaring with the Romans. It's art. it goes beyond the limit of what it is.!You will dig it!

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stantheology7/16/2008 4:03:01 PM

I have to go to the library and return my Miss Marple DVDs.

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Stan Balabuszko
show details 7/16/08

The Remote Control Penis

stantheology7/16/2008 9:42:44 AM

Then again, these pump equiped animal penises might end up at the Beijing Penis Emporium for your cooking and viewing pleasure. And just as a group of nuns from the United Nations or perhaps Olympics visitors walks by and someone bumps their garage door opener and immediately, you have a bunch of penises writhing in ecstacy, in plain view of everyone, not even at an adult book store, and it all gets videoed and ends up on You Tube or some venue like that,and tourism in China immediatly increases and the frade deficite gets worse.

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hughjasse7/4/2008 6:23:05 AM

i found that during the time of the rebelion of the slave "spartacus", there was a bump in the vulture population of southern italy. naturally we must attribute this to the excessive amount of food available to these vultures, since there were thousands of the escaped slave "spartacus'"followers.(hanging from crosses) . so that like nowadays, the increase in bird population was due to human intervention. ( from the department of stanthropology, stanord university)

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ivabigun7/4/2008 5:56:00 AM

if you add 2'a's to stan, you get satan, or insstead of "stanthology" ... you get "satanthology" which is cloe to "satantheology" ... and you know how stanthology was always going on about codes? well if sf gate hadn't taken his lifes work off this post thingie, you'd have noticed he always put dots betwen his thoughts...remember three dots is morse code for "s" ...the antichrist!

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ivabigun7/3/2008 10:23:33 PM

so zee beret, zee sunglasses, zee bongo drums. not really zat appropriate for a men henging from zee cross , iz eet?

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ivabigun7/19/2008 4:29:56 PM

I still say you alternative sex galoots are not organised like you should be. 10% of the population should have more political power than y'awwl demonstrate.

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ubernun7/19/2008 4:24:36 PM

I think Random Acts is Carl Rove.

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ivabigun7/19/2008 4:19:39 PM

malfouka, I say, you have some interesting stuff to look at! Very original and fun.

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Likely voters oppose marriage initiative

ivabigun7/19/2008 2:54:47 PM

The German s are exporting a few electric powered autos.They stopped exporting war. It was an unsustainable product line.They are big in the photo voltaic products too,also wind.

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This comment was left by a user who has been blocked by an SFGate editor.
ivabigun7/19/2008 2:48:10 PM

Liquiffy the methane gas emanating from sewage treatment plants. Then you could describe your BMW as being a three turd power car.

Likely voters oppose marriage initiative
Fifty-one percent of likely voters in the state oppose Proposition 8 on the November ballot, a constitutional amendment that bans same-sex marriage by defining marriage as only between a man and woman, according to a...
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ubernun7/20/2008 12:43:56 AM

Oh, and I could tell itsy was Rudy - who else could it be? - and I know Rudy's son is not related to Rudy and he's probably passed out by now also. Rudy's neighbor may actually be Rudy's neighbor.

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ubernun7/20/2008 12:37:34 AM

Random Acts of Bigotry and bluesdoctor should stop cutting and pasting. Olddawg has passed out by now and ramon's family is sweet. I'm back. Ubernun's position: One doesn't have to be Black or Gay to be on the right side of a civil rights issue.

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malfouka7/19/2008 10:30:01 PM

Re: legalized prostitution. The only way I would support legalized prostitution is: 1. the "pimp" aspect was removed and criminalized 2. prostitutes, like others in certain public-service settings, must undergo annual health screenings and tests 3. Street prostitution be either not allowed or only allowed in certain areas so as to insure that minors and "sex slaves" are protected. It's not a moral issue for me. I just worry about the disease, the forced prostitution, and the violence issues.

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malfouka7/19/2008 10:01:16 PM

old_dawg~ Re: "normal." If a certain percentage of any animal population consistently shows a certain trait over thousands of years, that trait is normal. For example, it is estimated that only about 13% of the human population is (and scientifically, has been) left-handed [and as a quick aside, being left-handed was once considered a mark of evil, and etc, and many, if not most children were forced to use their right hand] yet being left-handed is a normal human trait. Same thing with hetero- AND homo- sexuality. The fact is, you don't like what gay folks do in their bedrooms (and in YOUR perversity, use these lurid images to deny equal rights). In order to justify your position, you resort to faulty logic and the use of terms such as "normal."

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malfouka7/19/2008 9:31:37 PM

oldowg1945 says: "I raised four girls, nothing scares me" ----- oh goddess, you've procreated!

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malfouka7/19/2008 9:26:57 PM

oldowg1945~"we, the normal heterosexuals"? You and your bigoted, non-thinking, and unintelligent ilk are so far from "normal" it's stupid.

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ivabigun7/19/2008 9:18:55 PM

When you consider that first ,the church said "the Earth is flat" and threatenen to bake Galileo to a golden brown unless he re-considered his speculation that the Earth is round. After gold was discovered the church said "we changed our mind" ...Now, after years of "Flaming poofters are bad" and it comes to pass, that there are lots of child molesteres in the church, and it's costing the church a lot of that gold,perhaps the church is afraid that its perch on the moral high ground of civilisation might get eroded slightly if the church said "you know , all that fudge packing we were saying is a sin, well we changed our mind!And it's just fun after all!" I personally think, that the people of America should learn to keep their extra long,prying, controlling noses out of other peoples sexuality,and focus on the disastrous economy. People should try to think up products to export,instead of war,and war machines. The Germans did after WW2, and they're doing well. Hi everybody

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cthulu7/19/2008 9:04:49 PM

Gosh, imagine the shock when you lose in November....who knew

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bluesdoctor7/19/2008 8:57:11 PM

Look at the fine print. Folks were pollled by phone. Who picks up for strangers and who, even more tellingly, agrees to give up their time to strangers on the phone for a survey? Answer: small children, those with the IQ of small children, & those in jail with nothing else to do.

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miraclek77/19/2008 8:52:33 PM

Ramon, bless you and your family....

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ramon3667/19/2008 8:41:48 PM

I'm going to use this forum to step up to the plate and brag about my now-deceased parents. Many posters claim that this is a generational issue - that may be true, but it isn't ironclad. My mother was born in 1913 in Latin America and she and my dad were totally accepting of gay men & women. They saw thru the bigotry and the twisted agenda of people who pretended to know God's mind on various topics. There was never a peep of protest from clergy when they sat shoulder to elbow with my parent's gay guests, godchildren, etc., and they had no tolerance for the fire and brimstone crowd who shied away from tackling the tough issues in life - gay marriage and love not being one of them. It's starting to sound trite, but if you disapprove of gay marriage, don't have one! The christian-Taliban needs to tackle that true threat to marriage - divorce.

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jwoode7/19/2008 8:36:52 PM

Random acts.. as a Darwinist, how do you explain the growing acceptance of gay people in societies as evidenced by the increasing number of countries where it has become an accepted way of life? Where it is growing both in literature and in popular entertainment? It would seem that the evolution of human thinking is leaving your mindset in the dust. None too soon for my taste either which brings me to another point. You wonder why gay males react with "harsh venom" to female posters like yourself... isn't that a bit like the pot calling the kettle black when you consider that virtually every single post you make drips venom? You, mister.. yes I believe you to be male, are becoming extinct. Now quick.. go fetch something snide from your collection to cut and paste into a post.. wouldn't want to trouble you to think.

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beezkneez_7/19/2008 8:28:00 PM

I agree. No pimp. This is a business transction between consenting adults. It's no one else's business, church or gov't. Period.

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Likely voters oppose marriage initiative

ivabigun7/20/2008 3:14:27 PM

The situation has been exacerbated by the elimination of hunchback-studies programs at many technical colleges. Since 1990, the number of schools offering a two-year hunchbacking degree has dropped from 492 to 39, leaving many mad scientists without much-needed grotesque lab assistants. source: the onion

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Likely voters oppose marriage initiative

Likely voters oppose marriage initiative
Fifty-one percent of likely voters in the state oppose Proposition 8 on the November ballot, a constitutional amendment that bans same-sex marriage by defining marriage as only between a man and woman, according to a...
Read Full Story
Sort Comments by: Oldest First | Newest First
Add Your Comment
ubernun7/20/2008 12:43:56 AM

Oh, and I could tell itsy was Rudy - who else could it be? - and I know Rudy's son is not related to Rudy and he's probably passed out by now also. Rudy's neighbor may actually be Rudy's neighbor.

Recommend: (1)(0)[Report Abuse]

ubernun7/20/2008 12:37:34 AM

Random Acts of Bigotry and bluesdoctor should stop cutting and pasting. Olddawg has passed out by now and ramon's family is sweet. I'm back. Ubernun's position: One doesn't have to be Black or Gay to be on the right side of a civil rights issue.

Recommend: (2)(0)[Report Abuse]

malfouka7/19/2008 10:30:01 PM

Re: legalized prostitution. The only way I would support legalized prostitution is: 1. the "pimp" aspect was removed and criminalized 2. prostitutes, like others in certain public-service settings, must undergo annual health screenings and tests 3. Street prostitution be either not allowed or only allowed in certain areas so as to insure that minors and "sex slaves" are protected. It's not a moral issue for me. I just worry about the disease, the forced prostitution, and the violence issues.

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malfouka7/19/2008 10:01:16 PM

old_dawg~ Re: "normal." If a certain percentage of any animal population consistently shows a certain trait over thousands of years, that trait is normal. For example, it is estimated that only about 13% of the human population is (and scientifically, has been) left-handed [and as a quick aside, being left-handed was once considered a mark of evil, and etc, and many, if not most children were forced to use their right hand] yet being left-handed is a normal human trait. Same thing with hetero- AND homo- sexuality. The fact is, you don't like what gay folks do in their bedrooms (and in YOUR perversity, use these lurid images to deny equal rights). In order to justify your position, you resort to faulty logic and the use of terms such as "normal."

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malfouka7/19/2008 9:31:37 PM

oldowg1945 says: "I raised four girls, nothing scares me" ----- oh goddess, you've procreated!

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malfouka7/19/2008 9:26:57 PM

oldowg1945~"we, the normal heterosexuals"? You and your bigoted, non-thinking, and unintelligent ilk are so far from "normal" it's stupid.

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ivabigun7/19/2008 9:18:55 PM

When you consider that first ,the church said "the Earth is flat" and threatenen to bake Galileo to a golden brown unless he re-considered his speculation that the Earth is round. After gold was discovered the church said "we changed our mind" ...Now, after years of "Flaming poofters are bad" and it comes to pass, that there are lots of child molesteres in the church, and it's costing the church a lot of that gold,perhaps the church is afraid that its perch on the moral high ground of civilisation might get eroded slightly if the church said "you know , all that fudge packing we were saying is a sin, well we changed our mind!And it's just fun after all!" I personally think, that the people of America should learn to keep their extra long,prying, controlling noses out of other peoples sexuality,and focus on the disastrous economy. People should try to think up products to export,instead of war,and war machines. The Germans did after WW2, and they're doing well. Hi everybody

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cthulu7/19/2008 9:04:49 PM

Gosh, imagine the shock when you lose in November....who knew

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bluesdoctor7/19/2008 8:57:11 PM

Look at the fine print. Folks were pollled by phone. Who picks up for strangers and who, even more tellingly, agrees to give up their time to strangers on the phone for a survey? Answer: small children, those with the IQ of small children, & those in jail with nothing else to do.

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miraclek77/19/2008 8:52:33 PM

Ramon, bless you and your family....

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ramon3667/19/2008 8:41:48 PM

I'm going to use this forum to step up to the plate and brag about my now-deceased parents. Many posters claim that this is a generational issue - that may be true, but it isn't ironclad. My mother was born in 1913 in Latin America and she and my dad were totally accepting of gay men & women. They saw thru the bigotry and the twisted agenda of people who pretended to know God's mind on various topics. There was never a peep of protest from clergy when they sat shoulder to elbow with my parent's gay guests, godchildren, etc., and they had no tolerance for the fire and brimstone crowd who shied away from tackling the tough issues in life - gay marriage and love not being one of them. It's starting to sound trite, but if you disapprove of gay marriage, don't have one! The christian-Taliban needs to tackle that true threat to marriage - divorce.

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jwoode7/19/2008 8:36:52 PM

Random acts.. as a Darwinist, how do you explain the growing acceptance of gay people in societies as evidenced by the increasing number of countries where it has become an accepted way of life? Where it is growing both in literature and in popular entertainment? It would seem that the evolution of human thinking is leaving your mindset in the dust. None too soon for my taste either which brings me to another point. You wonder why gay males react with "harsh venom" to female posters like yourself... isn't that a bit like the pot calling the kettle black when you consider that virtually every single post you make drips venom? You, mister.. yes I believe you to be male, are becoming extinct. Now quick.. go fetch something snide from your collection to cut and paste into a post.. wouldn't want to trouble you to think.

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beezkneez_7/19/2008 8:28:00 PM

I agree. No pimp. This is a business transction between consenting adults. It's no one else's business, church or gov't. Period.

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Prostitution measure makes in onto S.F. ballot

ivabigun7/20/2008 4:44:54 PM

If you need "The Untoucnables" doesn't that imply the rest of the cops are on the take? If the cops are on the take, doesn't that imply there's an un-reasonable law, that nobody believes in on the books. A law that enables mobsters, thugs , all the people in the legal industry (the people that make the rules) to make a mountain of money.

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Likely voters oppose marriage initiative

ivabigun7/20/2008 5:11:18 PM

My daughter had a ferret. It was a formidable little brute. It stole many socks and hid 'em in a pile.