YURI NAHL IN DEEP DE-MIND CONTROL THERAPY AND HOW THE DEVIOUS HORSES AND MOMO HYPNOTIZED YURI NAHL ALSO THEIR PLANS FOR STARDOM

Comrades, you will please excuse sudden and unexplained absence. I, Yuri Nahl was in deep "de-mind control therapy". Because of the astute and observant Mr.Boondoggle, who noticed that the world-renowned black dog, the Afghan hound Momo, had let the hair on the side of his eyes grow long, he was able to extrapolate or infer that Momo was hypnotizing me every time he thought no one was watching. It was determined that he was beaming "mind-control rays" at me , so as to make me enter a partial "Voodoo trance".

Upon realizing these facts, I was removed to a dog and horse free location, where I would be safe from "mind-melding" by four legged animals. (even though they were not cloven hoofed, and the minions of the "Fiend of Hell")

The horses were moved to a new location in the pasture right by the foundry and supplied with a tent, their wide screen TV, a supply of their special smelly hay they had ordered on the Internet with the voice actuated keyboard, and the pirated video files from Parkland College in Illinois, USA, which showed horses mating. (somehow they had hacked into the Veterinary School files and thought these videos were "horse xxx pornos")(They were also selling the videos on eBay)

Now while I was isolated in safety and not susceptible to the horse "hypnosis rays", the nerds looked around the horses stalls. There the nerds found , (1) a wireless keyboard, voice activated, (2) LCD photo frames, with the dog Momo and the four horses on them, in head on poses looking intense, (3) wireless connections to hook up the horses electronic contraptions to the foundry computer system, (4) evidence of code in the foundry computer, suggesting the horses had set up some hidden operation of their own, which was invisible, unless nerds were looking for it. (5) miniature CSTV cameras, (6) another LCD picture frame set up as a TV monitor.

Using nerd mind power, the significance of the stealthy computer code was determined. It was shown that when I Yuri Nahl was in the foundry, The horses would be observing me with the miniature closed circuit TV camera, and then, using a camera in each horse stall, beam "mind control rays " at me, using the LCD photo frames as a medium. Whereas, most people think that two live mammals have to be physically present in the same location to do hypnosis, this is not correct. A reasonable facsimile will suffice, such as the live picture frame LCD horse "photos" . If I were to look at the "horse photos," (which were supposedly for my benefit) they would stand really still. Except I seem to have a recollection of a fly drifting by in one of the photos one day, but it just didn't register in my mind, as I was probably partially under control of their "enchantment" or "spell".

These clever animals had a "flash drive" type system in their hacked foundry computer, from which they played "mind control" images, and murmurings, sort of like Jane Fonda exercise videos. Integral to this was an automatic motion detector even including face recognition software which they had apparently stolen out of an anti terrorist surveillance gadget at San Francisco airport. They used this to stop the murmuring and focused energy rays if I was looking at their photos. At that time they looked docile and relaxed, as if they had just munched an extra helping of their special smelly hay. Which made them drowsy. They would then watch "Mr. Ed" videos, or get giant boners, sometimes both.

These "fake LCD photograph mind control weapons" were constantly working, so there was no escaping the beams of energy. If Mr.Boondoggle had not noticed my symptoms, there's no telling what might have happened, but I suspect it would have had something to do with attractive female horses. This "horse love" was their downfall. Dobbin had been composing a love sonnet to a female horse pen pal he had been working on and forgot to encrypt it, There it was in plain text just by coincidence at the time when the nerds were doing their forensic code analysis. This "love poem" tipped the other horses off about Dobbin's "love monopoly" and they wanted in. They checked on eBay to see if the stuffed Trigger (Roy Roger's horse) was up for bid, so they could use it as a "sex toy" .

Much horse strategy had been planned, including their film careers.

Momo sugested that they reprise the "Mr. Ed " show with Dobbin playing "Mr. Ed" as the original "Mr.Ed" had passed over. They were planning on using Mr.Boondoggle as "Wilbur" since the original actor, was 90.

Much planning had gone on, led by the incomparable Momo. Due to his penchant for history, Momo had read of the British Raj in India, (the "Jewel in the Crown" of the British Empire). He had relations in Afghanistan, who had communicated with elephants whose relations , ancestors had been of service to the British during the time of the Raj.

They had many interesting tales, some of which had never been told before. For example, After hearing of the exploits of Katherine the Great of Russia's love of using horse semen for a restorative skin balm, British women who had accompanied their husbands to India , to educate and evangelize the heathens had started to use this "semen therapy" to fight the rapid skin ageing due to the hot climate. They also seemed to enjoy practicing newly learned "love skills " taught them by the Indian women who were not repressed like the British.

This learning was facilitated by the two foot long penises of the stallions, because during "sex class" six or so British ladies could participate in the learning process (of penis rubbing) at one time which allowed larger classes and sped up the learning process. This also helped the British women to overcome their Puritan upbringing, and to getting used to a horse ejaculating into their rectums (for a therapeutic semen enema).

Previously they had utilized the penis of a "house boy." (switching to "stallion penis rubbing" helped fan the flames of the "mutiny" as these "house boys" had gotten used to the British women practicing fellatio, hand stimulation, sodomy, and various other "marital skill practices" listed in the "Kama Sutra" utilizing their stiff young extra long, (and sometimes even really thick penises). This made the job as a "house boy" much sought after.

The use of the semen which the women had ejaculated onto their faces and bosoms by their house boys, was also a blessing in that, the dubious expensive lotions lotions were not needed.

Now the Indian climate is very hot , and this led to a "fly problem". Fortuitously, it was discovered that dousing oneself with horse urine was an excellent "fly repellent". Later, it was also found that elephant urine was just as good, but could be harvested in greater abundance. (Although harvesting "elephant urine" was a decidedly more risky endeavor since the elephants sometimes mistook this "elephant penis aiming" for a "light wiener rub" and when their penises became turgid, a chap could easily get crushed, or knocked into the "urine collecting vessel" and drown in a distasteful manner.

The Indian women cleverly started laying off the "house boys" who had previously just spent the day drinking tea and showering the British ladies with urine and semen. Needless to say, this also contributed to the "mutiny."

Through his Afghan hound contacts who consulted with elephant friends they had, (and remember, elephants have good memories,) it was learned that the British soldiers started allowing the elephants to defaecate on them so as to darken their skin while they were spying, or trying to get jobs as house boys, so they could ejaculate and urinate on the British ladies, (although not necessarily in that order) as they could not do this while in Britain, as polite society frowned upon it. After being defaecated on, the house boys had to massage the excrement into the British soldiers skin, whereas before, they massaged their semen into the skin of the breasts of the ladies. (this undoubtedly contributed to "the mutiny".)

This horse and elephant urine, ejaculate, and excrement therapy, (not well known in the rest of the world), was still practiced in India as the therapeutic effects were still known to foreign stars of film and stage who's skin was under the scrutiny of the public. Spas were opened in towns with film studios. These became known as "One and Two Spas" in the jargon of the milieu. (For obvious reasons.) Many a guffaw or chortle was had by the local "urine, feces, and semen technicians", because they knew the therapy was of dubious value.

Now that the exposition of motivating forces has been done, we shall follow the story as it unfolds. (With a sort of "Prequel")

It was Momo, (the world renowned Afghan hound) who suggested to the horses that they communicate through "Wilbur" (Wilbur Post played by Alan Young) as he was thoroughly familiar with "horse to human" and "human to horse" dialects, and even "backward speaking dialect", and had in fact just finished a lucrative contract assisting the publishers of "Cliff's Notes" suitable for college students, as the study of the "Mr Ed" series was at last being recognized as an important facet of modern culture, and as such, many students were trying to find ways to assist themselves understand this important topic. Several dissertations were floating around on the Internet but were mere shallow glances. (not even considered to be "outlines" by the cognoscenti!) of a piece of modern culture which has been compared with "Ulysses" by James Joyce.

Alan Young (Wilbur) agreed to communicate with the horses. He stipulated that (1) He would only communicate using closed circuit TV. (2) He would be given sunglasses of the type used to observe the Trinity A-Bomb Test at the Alamogordo Test Range. This of course was to defend his eyes from any "mind control beams" emanating from the horses and their adviser, Momo. (3) He be equipped with a "dead-man" switch, which if he let go of it, would shut down the TV cameras and monitor, and in this way protect him from energy rays or hypnosis. Alan Young was familiar with "human whispering" as practiced by some horses, and when detected could counter it with "horse whispering".

Now at this time, it was decided (by the horses) to erect a tent over the horses communal stall, (where they puffed that peculiar pipe made from a five candle candelabra modified to their specifications.) Also peculiar was the smell of the tobacco they smoked. They seemed to like puffing the smelly hay they had ordered off the Internet using the voice controlled keyboard and sometimes pretending to be Steven Hawkins. They always needed time to recover from the choking and whinnying which sometimes resembled laughter. This decision was actually complying with a formal request emailed by the horses.

Now this was the time when the plan of the world renowned Momo, agreed to by the horses, would come into play. In general, the plan consisted of (1) Starting a new improved "Mr.Ed" series. (2) It would portray life in India during the time of the Raj more in line with the way Indian historians viewed it. This would be verbalized to the TV viewers by the "Indian" Mr.Ed, possibly with a more appropriate sobriquet, so as to resemble fictional character Harry Faversham, (from the novel "The Four Feathers" or his disguise as the despised mute Sangali, staggering out from the wilds from time to time. The elephants and horses of India would also be portrayed as more elegant and handsome, not all dusty and smelly. These things had already been discussed by the four chariot horses and their counterparts in India, only expedited by the incomparable Momo. Emails had been flashing back and forth for some time.

In return, the horses and Momo agreed to admit that they had accidentally shipped the handsome Arabian horses to Argentina, and had accidentally not paid for the horses or the shipping fees. But only by way of throwing the humans a bone. The horses and Momo also agreed to stop, or at least slow down this electronic pillaging of banks all over the world, buying gold bullion and stashing it in Irish and Swiss banks.

In reality, the horses and Momo knew they had an advantage over any prosecutor because if they were in court, in the witness box, or witness stall in their case, when the prosecutor asked them a question, they would pretend that they could not speak English, and just defacate or urinate all over and get giant boners, to the delight of the lady jurors. This attempt to cross examine the horses and Momo could have the effect of making the prosecutor look mentally ill, and ruin his chances of any political career, so this just gave the creatures added leverage.