I knew it! Someone yelled "Sieg Heil"! And look what happened. I told someone "I think he was outside my crib, trying to conceal a machine pistol" but they wouldn't believe me! Just because I said he looked like the archetype of the "Night of the Living Dead" characters. I mean, if you look outside the window of your crib and you see a bunch of raccoons coming towards your pad in a manner that is "inexorable" (sort of like the Red Army T-34s for their appointment with the Fuhrer) and you say "My God! Is it a 'Night of the Living Dead' of raccoons?" Then in a moment of transcendent insight you think "I'm hallucinating again. Mama must have put a few hits of acid in my night time milk I have , in order to drive me crazy, so I kill myself and she inherits Papas' fortune, which he left to me because she was such a slut , she would turn tricks for free!" Then in an integral part of the experience, the mist is forming and lit by the glow of the raccoons eyes (because they have that reflective eye membrane thing going) your heart trembles and out there you see the white haired ghost! (not the one in "The Da Vinci Code) The only white haired ghost in the world who wears sun-glasses in the middle of the night ostensibly because if the police come and see him leading a pack of criminally inclined raccoons, he can say "I'm blind. That's why I'm wearing these sunglasses. " Then when the police say "What are you doing with all these raccoons?" He could say "I'm like the 'Pied Piper, except I pipe on raccoons." Then when the police say "Well you are not headed out of town!" He can say "Well I'm blind! How was I to know?" "Know?" you might say. That's like knowing why in these old movies, why the heroin chick is always taking such a deep breath and her knockers are bulging out of her shirt , and you're waiting for them to burst free and dangle out for your viewing pleasure, but they don't.
At times like these, you have to get a grip on yourself and after you gulp down some port to bolster your will, you look out the window again, and only see one raccoon, and no white ghost wearing sunglasses, a Knights' Cross (with swords and oak leaves), a Josef Goebbels hand brace, and there's only one raccoon. So you send your world renowned black Afghan dog, Momo to chase off interlopers, but he knows the raccoon and they just talk about times gone past.
In the morning ,you go outside and everything is back to normal, till you notice a Walther P-38 lying on the ground with a sort of stylized skeleton key engraved on it, and the word "Leibstandarte." It's an unsettling thing, and you hope the gardener left it there, after all he does carry a riding crop, wear jodhpurs all the time and a monocle , or "sun-monocle" on sunny days.
MARCH 27 OR SO 2010
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"when in doubt, do not grout; for the tiles might not lay as they seem."
ReplyDeletethat is an old family wise crack from the sea that I just made up. when you start mixing Karl with momo with raccoons with a monocled gardener, you are just asking for it.
btw, I KNEW the Rastas would get the horses jones'n from the beginning. they are clever with the animals.