HOW TO BE ROMANTIC AND WOO CHICKS SO THEY DIG YOU LESSON ONE THE LOVE LETTER

Honey, sometimes especially in the morning, I have to help Momo switch from a lying on his side position, on my bed, to a standing position, on the floor. Because, even though he’s world renowned, (people know of his exploits on 4 continents) he’s an old duffer. So I put my hands under his belly and help him get up. This action puts pressure on his bladder and he kind of goes wiz on my hand a bit. So with this information in my head, I could take him into the back yard and with my hands just in front of his wiener, I sort of him lift up and his tail goes up like a pump handle and he takes a pee. Lots of times pee gets on my hand, I thought it was because I usually aim his wiener down for him so he doesn’t get pee all over himself, although he usually manages to anyway. And he usually manages to get pee on my hand too. I do this so I can empty him out a bit so he doesn’t get so much pee all over the house.
Some people find pee all over the house dismaying. I feel that these instances are what allow me to tell such accurate depictions in my essays. I hope you wanted to know these things since I just told you. I just hope nobody gets a video of me aiming his wiener down, or they might convene a grand jury. I’m sure that if I pointed out that a “wiener aiming ” is not the same as a “light wiener rub” it wouldn’t make a speck of difference. The prosecutor would like his (or her) all over the evening news with the “First Conviction for Wiener Aiming”. (that way he (or she) could run for mayor,)( like Rudy) I may have to bolt to Switzerland, because I don’t think they extradite for “wiener aiming cases”. (although they might for “light wiener rub” cases). oox